The Feelings of Failure
by Jim

The course all finished and pats on the back,
Well done lads - Jase, Scottie, Big Mac.
I can't believe I'm not one of them,
I'll have to come back and do it again.

I stand around as they pack their kit,
All laughing and joking,all so full of wit.
The speeches don't make the pain disappear,
That lightheaded feeling - so strange, so queer.

I've never felt before; so empty and blue,
Thinking I'd done all I needed to do,
To pass this course with flying colours,
Now I feel empty and my mind hollers,
Why me?, why me? - didn't I do enough?,
110% given and thats no bluff.
Cheated and useless, all pent up inside,
Me and my emotions - sat here and cried.

The Feeling of Failure weighs heavy in my heart,
New friends made - with nowt in common we part.
Two more days until I fly home,
No one else here, just me alone.

On a positive note - I'll come back and conquer this,
Better and stronger,reality not a wish.
I'll look back at this poem,read it and laugh,
Fail it again - you're having a "giraffe"!